There are times in my life when I have …had ….get … a choice. Choice is everything – right or wrong, here or there, this or that ….. life or death. 


I’ve had choices. But it’s absence of choice that has come to define me. 

I did not choose this life.

This life of wanting, hating, starving, regretting. This I did not choose. 

This life of beautiful, cooing daughters and laughing, warming sons. This i did not choose. 


yet here i am. So many smiles stolen, so many smiles blessed upon – and of all I feel powerless. As if possessed, the roads just lead themselves. This disordered mind found it’s own order and paved a volatile future for I and all those who shall fall within my reach. And I feel bitter yet thankful ….. angry yet grateful …. 


all without a choice. 

A word to the wise? fight for your choices, yet fight not the fateful needs.

 Choose with fervor. for when you are without a choice? you will come undone. 


7 thoughts on “Choice

  1. The one choice that you truely own and belongs with you forever is bringing up your two beautiful children and being the most amazing mum that you are!!!

  2. Ah, but you see, that’s why it’s the only true freedom, because we can always choose to push against the current, even if we know it will inevitably pull us downstream or even kill us, or we can choose to go with the flow and accept our circumstances. But the choice is there to make, always.

    1. I assure you – there aren’t, no matter how hard you want to push – any choices in Mental Illness. There is not.
      As much as a cancer sufferer has a choice to have their own tumor – I have never had a choice to end my own disease of the mind.

      In this one circumstance, choice is lost,

  3. Check out this poem by Paradox. I ran into this guy at a five day festival in England called Buddhafield. Seems kinda relevant to this discussion here.

    Also, could be handy for your upcoming Philosophy paper @glorifiedexcuse 🙂

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