For loss of words to start this, I start with something I know, to lead… somewhere new. Where I want to take you. These words are mine, but they may also be your own. And if they are take them and use them as you wish – Here I challenge you to .. understand?
My mission statement, be it thus. To move , to ask, to … find.
strap me to a plank, thread and vine constrict my soul. suck dry the infected air within this cage, lips
to mine exhale what’s pure
I surrender, I undress, I bare the brand upon my cheek’.
No denials spring forth this tongue, No seductions rule thus hand. see me, like me, hold me, help me
listen for the alarms that ring through my past. long missed and long unseen, lets go back
and silence them now. before the fire exhumed my frame, before the smoke strangled my lungs. I’ll speak
I’ll scream this time. the muteness ends as I am choosing life
Over death, over presence become. steal my hammer, hold steady your own. Nail me to a cross, forsaken
Rasping throat catches on your Name, fleeting specks of Hope mocking my pain. In absolution I fall
at the feet
of anonymous wanderers, who feel not the shame. Receive me rather in their own Grace
ignorance, shielding their eyes from the Brand on my cheek
I surrender, I undress, I bare the Brand upon my cheek
Not for you, but for those who know not.
I am someone who struggles. To wake up, to walk forth, To got to sleep at night.
But I am someone that asks not for sympathy – for this is all of my own doing. I created the Chains that surround my mind, bind it up and make it so that air is poison, light is mockery. Watch for the chains – they will be a recurring theme here… the chains in her mind.
Rather I ask of you nothing, I ask only of myself. I ask myself to scream this, to share this. To translate this foreign tongue as a plea for freedom.
As a warning I must state that I , this girl of harmful consequence, infect people. No man is an island and I infect people. SO as you read, know this, and know I intend no harm. You read on, and for that – be your own chaperon. As the last two lines of this reads…
I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that’s real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt”
Johny Cash – ‘Hurt’